I pride myself on being a hopeless romantic but what if I tell you that there is so much more to a Happy Marriage than just love & romance.
Shocked? No, I am not saying that it is not at all important but for an enduring relationship you need a few other essential ingredients besides love.
Here goes my list of such 6 factors. Don’t worry, I will not be discussing the popular clichés we already know like trust & loyalty, compromise, forgiveness and communication because these are so familiar and established. I am not ignoring them but just wanted to talk about other things which I’ve discovered to maintain a successful long-term relationship, such as:-
1. Loving yourself / Self-Love: When you are happy then only you can love and make others happy. With low esteem, insecurities start corrupting your emotions. These insecurities lead to conflicts and co-dependency. Hence if both the partners are secure and confident they can enjoy a happy and healthy relationship. As they say “Healthy relationships stems from healthy-minded individuals”.
2. Mutual Respect & Admiration: In a room alone or in front of people, I think a couple should not take the liberty to demean each other, what so ever be the case. There is no justification for disrespect & abuse. Hold each other in such high admiration that not even your ugliest of conflicts let you be irreverent towards each other.
3. Space and independence: With mutual trust and respect what comes next is a healthy atmosphere where you both get time apart to do your own things which further leads to self-development and growth. It’s not all about this only but selflessly encouraging your partner to follow his/her dreams and passion at their own pace also.
4. Work together as a team: During tough times, remember forgiveness & support are crucial. Your spouse is not your enemy but your partner. You have got to stand together against difficulties. Challenges are inevitable but your determination needs to be constant. Covering each other’s weakness by being each other’s strength. Have similar relationship goals and passionately work upon them.
5. Keep the friendship in the relationship alive: Being a friend first is important. I think I need not explain the friendship here. Listen to each other, have fun together, learn together, share your victories and fears. No doubt there is attraction, there is love but still, something deeper than that exists which makes the whole thing last longer, that is obviously the friendship.
6. Mature & Grown-up Love: Passion and attraction don’t stay the same all the time but love can still keep going strong. It takes a little shift of vision. It’s that stage where u enjoy passion as much as your companionship. With the stronger foundation of devotion and sacrifice, love grows and matures. It then shows us the way to true intimacy, be it physical or emotional. Real romance I think is deep-rooted in this kind of love.
But I will still ask you, again and again, to take some time out of your busy life full of duties, responsibilities and so many distractions, to create romance in your relationship. Take my words, Romantic moments are de rigueur for a fulfilling love-life.
Do you remember, when did you last have a heart to heart meaningful talks? When did you last have easy and fun time together? when did you last have your moment of love? Think about it.
It’s not a one-way street, whether you are a woman or man you create romance together. Tune yourself in! Initiate affection. Go tell your partner how much you love them. Plan a beautiful small date night. Being romantic is not much work. Just let yourself fall madly in love all over again.