“Love, in reality, is not like a perfect fairy tale but like life, it’s a roller-coaster ride.”
Some days we are deeply in love and on others, we can’t even stand each other. We regret why we are we even together. A few days back Mr Husband said something which I felt was insensitive of him to say and the argument he put in his defence was that it’s me who took it otherwise and misunderstood his words. You don’t have to speculate what happened next, Yeah, fights, arguments and the heartache. I was closed for all discussions. He too didn’t feel like giving explanations anymore or apologising for something he did not even do. Both of us were in pain and were missing each other but the walls we put around our hearts didn’t allow us to talk to each other or listen to each other’s heartbeat. One whole day went by with no talks (just some formal communication). Next evening, I was sitting on my couch, missing him. He was about to return home from work. At last, the door opened, our eyes met. We ran towards each other and hugged. Later we had our coffee and talked our problems out.
All I was thinking was that yes he made me sad but again he is the only one who put my worries to rest and love me for who I am. This relationship is sometimes hard, very hard but this bond of ours is my strength and source of happiness in my life. It’s not ‘love’ that is hard, rude and painful but it is our misunderstanding and ego sometimes.
“The course of true love
never did run smooth.”
– WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
During such low moments we can’t help but think why no one told us before that love can be this hard, or maybe they did but we chose to ignore them because all we wanted to believe was, love, is a perfect fairy tale. Being loved and loving someone is indeed a soulful experience but it is not always constant. Love doesn’t come with a guarantee that it will be perfect and happy all the time or there will be all smiles and no tears.
Listen, darling, Yes! It can be painful and heart-breaking too.
When everything goes smooth and our partner acts as we please then we enjoy being in love, but sometimes when love goes awry, it becomes bitter and awful. When love fails us, we feel so broken and disappointed. We regret being in love as it made us so vulnerable and caused us so much pain. We start hating our partner for not being understanding and good enough. We get shattered to see that our love story doesn’t look like ‘happily-ever-after’ and then we ask ourselves, is love even worth all this pain and chaos?
We either build walls around our heart to protect ourselves from getting hurt again or it hit the threshold of our pain which takes us to the extreme and we try to break the relationship to cut the problem at its roots. We get torn between deciding to put more efforts to make it better or to walk away to save ourselves. Someone has so rightly said, “one of the hardest decisions you will ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder.”
In either case, your heart is still broken. The fear of inevitable chaos and more heartbreaking moments makes it even worse. It’s natural to protect yourself from pain but remember don’t give in to those fears. Don’t take any decision in haste and anger. Your hurt itself will guide you in a healthy way if you keep patience. It’s human to feel hurt, anger and discontent but the question here is, can we still choose ‘love’ beyond all that?
Give each other some time and space to get over the hurt and think with a calm mind. Don’t let go of love so easily as love doesn’t happen often. Remember,
“You can’t just give up on someone because the situation’s not ideal. Great relationships aren’t great because they have no problems. They’re great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work”. – unknown
If you realise that your relationship matters much more to you than your differences, communicate and talk it out. Try to understand each other’s perspective, be open-minded to learn new things about each other and be supportive of bringing positive changes for a better future together. It surely involves acceptance and forgiveness.
They say ‘Love doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be real.’ A real relationship involves hurt and pain too along with love. It is strong yet fragile because no matter how much it hurts, to live without each other is still not an option.
No one can tell you if love is worth it, as each person has to decide this for themselves according to their situation. As MEREDITH GREY stated “so, do it. Decide, is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide.”
Love real and Love hard and fight against every reason for why it won’t work out. Maybe its worth the fight but if you will never give it a chance, you will never know. But, I strongly believe that Love should not always leave you in constant pain and uncertainty because than love is not true and genuine. You should try harder but not to the point where you lose yourself. Sometimes, despite so much of love and commitment, you don’t feel like fighting anymore. Your gut tells you that it’s not going to work out.
Love is a constant decision. Yes, there will be some pain but if your Love is still your healer it’s worth it. If you and your partner doesn’t give up on each other and love and support each other during the worst times that’s a sign you guys are meant to be. Find someone who is worth all the hurt and chaos. Never let them go because the person who is worth all the pain will make you forget why it pains and will never make you regret choosing Love. Whenever pain will hold you back, true love will pull you right back towards itself. This kind of love is magical and only happens to those who are willing to fight everything that can tear them apart and come out even stronger than before.
“To be deeply loved means a willingness to cut yourself wide open, exposing your vulnerabilities; hopes, hurts, fears and flaws. Hiding behind the highlight reel of who you are, is the real you and that person is just as worthy of love. There is nothing more terrifying or fulfilling than complete love, it’s worth the risk… reach for it.”
― Jaeda DeWalt